How to get out of guilt and be normal?

I am 15 years old. I have some recent problems in my life? Now I feel like a lunatic, like I got paranoia or shizophrenia. I have bad friends, no true friends. They are acting crazy and stupid in school. After spending the times with them I have realized that I am starting to be a lunatic. I think they stupify me. I have bad grades, I starting to feel like I am eccentric person but infact I act normally unlike other people. Which draws me to another conclusion that most of other people are crazy and I am the among the most normal. I was a fool when I was younger but I was not a full fool, I was conscious and knew what I did. Last years I feel like a invalid, like I got memory lack, I can't finish something, I feeled stupid, I lost creativity. I think that I am crazy inside, but normal outside. But the stupid thing is that no one recognizes me to be crazy, except they say I am a retard which is false and misconcepted belief among friends. My guilt is irrational and I think it destroys my personality and self-esteem. I feel neglected. The friends I visit in school are bastards, they just laugh, make nonesense, stupify themselves, humiliate others and make my day worser. I feel against myself, like I want to banish myself I see often others and think that I am the worst. I did sexual things which make me guilty, I sucked my penis male organ, I have a asymmetrical penis maybe from masturbation, I got asymmetrical testicles which is weird, I have pubic hair loss which is disguisting, I feel like I ruined my body, I feel like ill, but there are others who are ill, I have problems with my mentality, it's because of the idiotic society in which I live, school friends actually. I try to think positive in order to be normal, but I can't I only think of deaths, tragedies and failure. I seem I cannot accept myself, I cannot accept myself that I am discriminated and beaten (mentally) from the idiots. I feel mindless. But I can't even accept worse. There is worse, there are people who cutted their penis male organ, there are homosexuals who suck others male organ, there are castrated males, there are people that are chronically insane. I have some visual pictures about something that makes me distracted, I hear songs. Among society, I am sometimes anxious, I am anxious, neurotic. I feel in a society as the most low level valued person, I respect others but no one has something human in themselfs. Among the society the most honest person. How can I get out of this irrational, stupifying, crazy, self-destructing mentality and be like others. And not to be bothered with the "demons" in my head. How can I be normal inside and to be normal do I have to get out of a crazy society? And I need to banish my stupid guilt.